a fairytale dream... (part 1)

This story was taken from a journal, written anonymously. The characters were unnamed to provide privacy to the involved individuals since i am uncertain whether this is a fiction or not. The language used is in Filipino and English, but i am trying to provide an English translation of this, if i could find time. The story are in parts for the purpose of convenient posting and reading. Hope that you may enjoy reading the story, as much as i DID... ÜÜÜ

*disclaimer

-the story was posted for the purpose of sharing a slice of life and to make people inspired of whatever may come in our lives, we can surely find ways to deal with it.

Part 1

Minsan, may mga bagy tayong ginagawa beyond what we think, assuming it was a already our limitations. Pero, yung mga pabugso-bugsong desisyon ang nagpapa-alala na kung SINO tayo, na yung kinakatakutan nating gawin is actually the greatest thing we would have done, that we have done; that’s it if we really put that into actions.

Fairytales are said to be for kids only, to somehow feed their imaginations at a young age. But actually, fairytales tend to be the foundation of every girls’ imagination, na kahit sa pag-tanda natin we still have the same fantasy to be like Cinderella or perhaps, be like Snow White, kahit hindi na uso ang mga castles and princesses. But the mere fact that we are looking for our own prince either in dreams or while awake, it is indeed that fairytales have penetrated in every girls hope and desire.

Sabi nila, there’s an exception in every rule. But I was not included to be an exemption. Dahil kagaya din ako ng mga babaeng naniniwala, na may prinsepe din na intended for me. May nakilala ako minsan, akala ko yun na nga, pero hindi pala. My desire to be with him went out beyond the usual imagination of a fairytale, na kahit sa mga pinanonod kong mga pelikula, hinihiling ko na sana ganun din yung ending ng love story ko. Nakakatawang isipin na sa edad ko eh nangangarap parin ako ng fairytale like story, o kahit pang romantic movies, kahit nga ala My Sassy Girl eh sobra na ang magiging tuwa ko, syempre mas realistic na yun kesa sa isang literal na fairytale.

Its been months already since that fairytale and romantic-movie- like-fantasy has ended. Kahit sabi nila na faitytales is a happily- ever –after- thing, hindi ganun ang nangyari. Pero, may natutunan ako, may ginive-up ako. Pero, kagaya ng sinabi sa isang c0mmercial, ‘see, I learned’.

Maaaring hindi na kakaiba yung kwento ko sa iba, pero gusto kong i-share sa inyo kung panu nangyari ang lahat. Hindi man ito yung talagang pang fairytale, pero it will bring you a lesson that everyone should not let every chance pass by. It’s either you will lose or you will regret it forever… Minsan lang ang pagkakataon, ba’t sasayangin mo pa?

At eto na yung kwento ko…

Once upon a time… (syempre joke ko lang yun..)

(2 days after graduation)

Nakareceive ako ng message, dalawang message from him. Yung una, ang sabi “You amazed me”, ang pangalawa naman “Thank you, (name ko)”. Hindi ko alam nung una kung kanino galing yun, because the message appeared unregistered sa phone ko. But later I realized it was from him… and that was his last message. Nothing… wala na akong narinig sa kanya after nun….

Bakit ganun ang nangyari? I think its better to start from where it all started…

(1^st year college)

College ako nun nang ma-meet ko yung ideal guy ko. I met him during my freshman year, second semester to be exact. Ewan ko ba, basta ang alam ko nun may crush ako sa kanya. One time, sa sobrang katamaran kong pumasok eh na-late ako. Kaya haggard akong tumakbo papunta sa Science Building namin para maabutan yung class ko. That was the time na habang nag-aantay ako sa elevator eh may lumbas na magbabarkada sa classroom malapit sa elevator. He was laughing then, yung tawa na pag-narinig mo mas magandang pakinggan kesa sa lecture ng mga professor. Kaya habang nag aantay ako nun sa elevator, pasimple kong tinitigan features ng mukha nya. He was a boy-next-door type. Pero naka-attract saken ang pagka tsinito nya, kahit later nalaman kong hindi naman pala talaga sya Chinese. Pero ang alam ko lang nung time na yun eh yung smile nya.

The next day after tomorrow, I saw him once again and eventually I found myself passing the same corridor extending my neck to look for this familiar face. At naging habit ko na yung pag-daan sa corridor na yun. I wanted to know him, to be his friend. Kaso hindi pwede, parang hindi ako bagay sa kanya. Kaya this so-called crush eh nagtiyaga sa pag-titig sa kanya sa malayuan, ang dahilan ko eh crush lang naman eh, because what I only knew then was just a feeling of pure and simple admiration, which I will soon get over. So, my freshman year ended without me knowing him, even just his name.

(summer before 2^nd year)

Summer na. Kasabay ng pag-pasok ng summer ang pagta-tapos ng pantasya ko sa lalaking yun. Sayang, hindi ko man lang nalaman yung pangalan nya. Mahiyain kasi ako, hindi ako yung tipo na lalapit para magpakilala, kung sa mga bagong kaklase ko nga nahiya na ako magpakilala eh sa kanya pa kaya na hindi ko talaga nakakasama?

Dahil bilang summer na, mas nag-concentrate akong mag-self review dahil required kaming mag-summer class. Pinaghandaan ko ang lahat, since I will be in a new environment. Dahil halo-halo ang course sa isang block kapag first year ka, ibig sabihin sa summer ko pa lang makakasama yung talagang ka kapwa course ko. Kaya pati yun eh pinaghandaan ko, ang bagong paghahanap ulit ng mga kaibigan.

But I was wrong. Hindi lang pala dapat yun ang paghandaan ko. Kasi pareho pala kami ng course. Pero mas may malala pa dun….

Kung iniisip mong mag kaklase kami…, well… mali ka! Dahil magkaiba kami ng block. Yun nga lang, pareho kami ng schedule, pati professors, kaya kung anung room ang ginagamit nila, kami naman ang pangalawang gagamit. Ibig sabihin, laging isang pader lang ang nakapagitan samen.

That’s it! I spent the whole summer of having just a wall in between of us. And life was so teasing; we have the same common friends. Yun nga lang, nahihiya akong sabihin sa kanila na crush ko yung friend nila. Ni hindi ko nga matanong kung ano name nya, kasi syempre they will instantly assume that I like the guy.

I guess, it was this summer where it all started, where I started to stare at him from afar, to wait from him outside the classroom when their class was about to end na. Kung may improvement man, yun yung natapos yung summer na nalaman ko ang name nya… it’s a 5 letter name (hindi ko na sasabihin baka kilala mo pa eh…Ü)

(2^nd Year)

Second year na. At wala paring pinag-bago, lahat eh kagaya parin ng dati. Nakokontento na tingnan sya sa malayo. Pero I learned something, a friend of mine told me his story, he was two-timed by his girlfriend. I felt so sad for him, pero syempre ilang minuto lang yun, because deep within me, I was in joy! Sino ba naming hindi matutuwa pag-nalamang single sya? Pero hindi lang ako ang natuwa nun, knowing maraming nagkakagusto sa kanya, I guess isang fans club kaming nagbunyi na isa pala syang single.

Actually, hindi lang naman mga student ang nag-aadmire sa kanya. Even professors admire him because of his attitude, napaka karinyoso daw. Matalino na, mabait pa. I even heard he’s an athlete and at the same time a scholar. So tell me, who wouldn’t fall for these kind of guy?

Akala ko nung una, walang magiging developments sa pag-admire ko sa lalaking yun. But thank god! Or should I say thank you na rin sa volleyball professor namin na nag conduct ng match between his block and mine! Sobra ang saya ko nun, kahit pati tuhod ko nanginginig. Aaminin ko, I’m not good in playing that sport, lagi ngang outside court mga services ko, pero knowing na sila ang ka-match namin, aba! Nagmaganda na ako! Pa-impress effect, kaso baket ilbis tamaan ko yung bola, yung bola ang tumatama saken? Nakakahiya, pero may point na tumama sa mukha ko yung bola. Pero kahit masakit, nigiti parin ako ng todo! Ayun… ang ending eh talo kami. Pero nkangiti parin ako… Bakeet? Kasi may shakehands sa dulo ng laro kaya ayun,,, naka-shake hands ko sya… mukha man akong baliw at tanga, aaminin ko na, masaya ako nun! Ni hindi ko yata pinahawakan s mga friends ko yung kamay ko, sa takot kong mawala yung moment na hinawakan nya hands ko! (nakakaloka noh?)

Simula nun, I cared for him. I nurtured him inside my heart. I know that I would really like to end up with him. Knowing the fact that he’s single, I just can’t help to ignore the idea that I still have the chance…. Assuming I have the chance….

....to be continued...Ü